school, encyclopedia salesmen and obligatory photos

So the kids are officially back in school!!!

YAHOO!! I mean, aww.

I saw the funniest picture somewhere of a mom standing in front of her garage door, first day of school.  The kids are all in their spanking new outfits with their overloaded backpacks weighing them down, and they're all frowning.  Looking cranky.

And the the mom is jumping up in the air with a huge smile on her face.  Even though it's a silly staged photo op, it's awesome.

So awesome in fact, that I think I might take a moment to try to find the picture to share with you.  Because really, we all know how giving and thoughtful I am.  

I'm back!  Internet/google magic made that task very quick and easy.  Quick little search and I found exactly what I was looking for.  How did I survive without google?

Heh, just like I remembered it.  I have a great memory.  Not really.

Speaking of The Google, how did we survive without it?  Remember encyclopedias?  Remember encyclopedia salesmen?

I totally remember them knocking on our door trying to guilt my mom, while looking deeply and meaningfully into her eyes for a full five seconds, into spending approximately 476 thousand bucks in easy installments of only 10 cents a day for ten years, on a massive set of hard covered encyclopedias that would "last a lifetime,""enable us to go to the college our choice," "live our lives to the fullest," etc.  You know, basically implying that without the encyclopedias, we would grow up to be nothing but homeless beggars, and it would be all her fault.  Hm.  Does 10 cents a day for ten years even add up to 476 thousand bucks?  *I'm guessing no... Probably I would have known if mom had bucked up and bought those freaking encyclopedias.

THANKS MOM.

Ah, good times...

Thank Cod for Google.  It's so free.  And let's face it, free is awesome.  And I would go so far as to suggest that I actually use Google every single day.  Because I have a lot of research and stuff to do on a lot of very important stuff.  You don't even know!

ANYwho, my kids are back to school!  They were looking forward to it, which is kind of typical.  They all came home happy enough - kind of blah and lame, but not crying.  So that's good.  They could have been a little more enthusiastic about it though!  Sheesh, I waited patiently all day to hear about their classes and new friends and stuff.  Stinking kids.

They looked cute though, (Except Alex who got the ugliest sneakers when he was out shopping with my mom.  THANKS MOM.  I never would have purchased such hideous kicks.  I've since offered him a hundred bucks to wear chucks to school for a week.  He's still debating, that little brat.  He says I don't know what's in style.  OH YES I DO, and it's definitely not UGLY sneakers.) so of course I'll share the obligatory back to school pictures of my kids because I know you're all dying to see those little punks of mine.  I've cropped out Alex's disgusting sneakers.  You can thank me later.

Alex & Meg, going into 10th and 6th grades

Alex & Meg & Brooke in her pj's

Brooke, going into 2nd grade

Brooke and Maizie the puppy

Hope all of your kids had a great first day back to school!


*FYI, 10 cents a day for ten years really only adds up to $3,640.  See?  I do know how to do math.  That is right, right?

you googled that?? part two

OK, another edition of you googled that?  Because people are freaking weird.  And I'm a little concerned that their weirdness brought them to my innocent little boring old blog.


So these two gems were recently googled, "can sloths eat dough?" and "supermodels with camel toes," and they were directed to my blog.  This post in particular.  Geez.  And, omg.  Sherilin totally called it - she said I'd get a bunch of pervy pervs searching for gross things, and she was right.

Someone searched "i hate blowing my nose," and got sent to this post.  To the one who googled that, I feel ya sister.

I don't really get "mothers who teach their daughters to go braless."  I mean yes, I said bra-less, but not in the respect that I was trying to teach my kid to go without.  I thought that post was about Boss Hogg and teachers.

Someone googled "Corey Haim dirty movie bucker" and found their way to this post about my top ten 80's teen crushes.  Well I did discuss Corey Haim, but I didn't call him a dirty bucker.  Whatever that means.

"Close talkers" could have brought someone to several of my posts, because I mention it every so often because it is a thing that really bugs me.  But they were sent here, to my post about... you guessed it!  Close talkers!

OK, so in searching "hairy guys in leather jackets," someone was sent to this post, where I discuss in detail a bunch of sucky dates that I have been on in the past.  One of the sucky dates was with a super hairy guy, and another one was with a guy in a green pleather jacket.  So yeah.  Makes sense.

"False girdle advertisements" and "Bombshell Bra" understandably came to this post, where I talk about SPANX and the fact that wearing them is technically false advertisement if you're trying to pick up a guy.

So sheesh.  It's kind of interesting and disturbing to see what terms are bringing people to your blog.  So like, if you've made your way here and you're freaking weird, you can go now.  Thanks.

the perils of googling oneself

My married name is a fairly unique one, so when I googled myself, I didn't expect to come up with much. I like to consider myself a "writer," and I've had a few articles/snippets published here and there over the years, so I assumed maybe they would show up.

I was surprised to see that I have a few much younger namesakes out there... my name popped up with a myspace profile, some pretty unusual photos, as the lead in a school play and even as a high school softball player. That wasn't so bad, but to my complete and utter horror -- there was a poem published with my name as the author.

The poem was titled "Prisoner of Love." It was definitely not mine.

I've been a writer for as far back as I can remember, and I've written some pretty embarrassing poems in my day (not insinuating that this person's poem is embarrassing), but I would NEVER be comfprtable enough to publish them on the web. Maybe a tiny handful of the poems I have written are worthy of another's eyes, so I was horrified to think that this poem was out there, with people critiquing it, and maybe thinking that I HAD WRITTEN IT.

In general, I am pretty sensitive to criticism. I can handle it, but it affects me inwardly for sure. The thought that someone out there who could google my name for some reason, (narcissistic much?? lol) the thought that someone might look at that and think those were my thoughts and words is driving me crazy!! How can I make it known that I didn't write that poem??! I guess this post may help with that, but I can't make it go away can I???

All I am saying is that I wouldn't attach my name to something out there unless it was what I consider to be amazing. While I wouldn't be mean and critical of what someone else wrote, I can say that this particular poem isn't necesarily something I want to attach my name to. If I have any interest in writing on another level, publishing some articles and maybe even getting that book I'm writing finished -- this poem shouldn't be out there with my name on it. UGH.