Turning 40 and having babies

Wow. I just got off the phone with my friend Holly, who told me she is pregnant! My other friend Val is unexpectedly pregnant too, and now I feel JEALOUS! Val and Holly will both be turning 40 in the next few months, and I am right behind them. I always told my husband if we have one more, then it has to be before I am forty. So now I am adjusting it a TEENY bit to being PREGNANT before I turn 40. That buys me a little bit of time, in case we decide to go down that road just ONE MORE TIME.

My biggest fear is that I will die.

Honestly, Brooke's emergency birth was really scary... I have this terrible feeling that if I went there again, I would end up being that statistic - the mom that dies with a complication. So I tell myself that having another baby for me is sort of selfish, and that is what has been holding me back. I mean, the kids I have already need me.

Besides, Alex could never make it without me. LOL.

Shameful

So the other day was the first time I have posted all summer, basically. That is just shameful, and I have no great excuse. Summer went along as it typically does in our house. I always have these great big plans of doing lots of fun, inexpensive, memory-making stuff with the kids, and then... nothing. We do the same old stuff - nights and weekends filled with our kids softball and baseball games, then tournaments, then soccer. Before you know it - GAPKIDS is putting up their back-to-school clothes online, and I am getting ridiculous amounts of fall catalogs in the mail.

Crap. Another summer, over.

This summer was particularly painful, because we had more rain than sun. I often felt like I was stuck in some bad Groundhog Day in Seattle movie or something. Rain really put a "damper" (hehe - admit it, that is funny) on my plans. The kids actually go back to school in less than a week! I'm not even done getting everyone organized for school, and that's almost like a crime in my book. I can't stand to be disorganized.

These are some of the things that I wanted to do this summer:

--Go to Sleepy Hollow Lake (not once)

--Go to Lake Taconic (no)

--Go strawberry picking (nope)

--Go camping (negative)

--Take fun bike rides with the kids (barely)

--Make my backyard look GREAT (boo, soggy marshy mushroomy yard)

--Go to Cooperstown (did it!)

--Go to the Bronx Zoo (nah)

--Take the kids to Six Flags, Zoom Flume or Hershey Park (no)

--Go Hiking (not once)

--Howe Caverns (Jenney and HER family went...)

--Weekend in the city (Statue of Liberty, Museums, etc) - this did not happen.

Oh well, I guess I will put those things on my Summer To Do List for next summer!

Call me Ishmael

So we were getting ready to go to the library yesterday, and Megan, my 8 year old says, "I want to get out Moby Dick!" I was like, impressed. I've been a big reader since I was just a little girl, and I have been excited to see Meggie fall in love with books these past few years. So I went on to explain how Melville's Moby Dick was classic literature, considered to be one of the world's greatest novels - something everyone should read once in a lifetime, etc. I began to tell her I thought she might be a little on the young side for Moby Dick (ya think?), and it eventually occurred to me to ask her where she heard of Moby Dick in the first place. She smiled, and informed me that she heard about it from Timmy Turner. As in the kid from the goofy Nick Jr. cartoon, Fairly Odd Parents. Then she skipped out of the kitchen, giggling - with goldy summer hair billowing behind her.

Smelly back yard

I started writing this post on my back porch. It is a beautiful, sunny day - there is shade AND sun on the porch, which is my favorite. I typically enjoy sitting out there. The birds are chirping away, Brookie is napping (well - playing in her bed, but I have a few moments of peace, so I'm not complaining!).
BUT.

But, there is SMELLY grass dumped right in the tree line of our back yard/woods. UGH, it is disgusting. My husband doesn't seem to notice the stench, and acts completely unaffected by it. Much like he rarely noticed poopy diapers, I believe.

I may very well hire someone to come and haul it away, because I can't really enjoy the back yard while I am throwing up in my mouth over the smell every few minutes.
Besides the stench factor, it looks ugly out there! Why would anyone dump grass clippings practically on their lawn??
Good question.

That's really the only bad thing about my day (besides the fact that I forgot to get my favorite bread for my sandwich at the grocery today, which means that I had to eat my lunch with rolled-up sandwich meat instead of an ACTUAL sandwich). 

Here are the good things about my day so far:
-I just found out that my sister Jen passed her Nursing Boards with flying colors!!! Yay Jen!
-Meg's softball playoffs are tonight (love her more than anything, but the games can be PAINFUL to watch and oh so LOOOOOONG, so I will be glad when we're all done)
-It's sunny but not hot out, which means the kids will be happy to run around and play outside when they get home from school
-I returned cans today and got about $6 back!
-A book I requested just came in at the library, so now I will have reading material! Yippee!
-I have a plan in motion for dinner tonight
-The house is relatively clean, so I can relax and read my new book without feeling guilty for not cleaning

A Poem Meg wrote for her free writing journal

Families

by Megan, age almost 8

One thing about families is love,

But your brother is annoying and he might shove.

They all care about you too,

But when you get in your older sister's room she would say "Shoo!"

You all have laughs,

Especially when doing crafts.

Mom would think it's a disaster,

We'd have to stop because she is the Master!

Things that are of interest to a Three-Year-Old with a camera

Piggies

Snowy back yard
Dog and broken chair

Pollys

These are some pictures that I found on my camera that Brooke took by herself. There are MANY more, maybe I will post more some other time. I think it is so cool to look at things from a different perspective, particularly, what interests a three-year-old... I actually think it's a little on the artistic side, but I could just be a proud mom. :)

Brooke's drawing of Brooke and Daddy

Brooke, up close

Basket

Toilet?

Glassware on the counter

Foot

Dolly

I'm Sick.

Ugh. I am SICK!
It's not the Swine Flu. I'm (almost) positive.
It really feels like people are sizing me up, wondering if I am carrying the virus. I guess it is good to be concerned, but sometimes I think things get a little blown out of proportion - news coverage makes people freak out, and all of a sudden your kid has a sniffle and they get sent home from school (such was the case yesterday with my 11 year old).
Anyone can get it - I of course have done the research. Same symptoms as the regular flu, blahblahblah...

I actually considered keeping Alex home yesterday, and then I thought - "Kids have colds all of the time," no big deal, really. He made it though first period before I got the call to come get him. He had a "low-grade temp" (99.1 is mighty low grade if you ask me), he also had a sore throat. The school nurse thought he might have a spot on his tonsil. I would hate to have him infect someone else though, not trying to get anyone else sick. But schools are germ havens anyway. There is no way to really protect ourselves from germs and bugs - they are everywhere. It's part of life. If we aren't exposed to things, our bodies will never know how to fight them. So good mom that I am, I trucked him up to the pediatrician, just so I could hear her tell me what I had already diagnosed myself..."He has a cold."

THANKS, it cost me $15 and an hour ride to verify that info!
I sound like I am preaching. Sorry! It just makes me chuckle that everyone gets so crazy when they hear about the next PANDEMIC...

So yes, I have a COLD. It is irritating to be sneezing and stuffy, but I did get to take Nyquil last night and it helped me sleep like a log, which is my favorite thing to do. I actually got to rest on Sunday, because Alex was home. He hung with the kids all day (and snuck in a nap!!), and I literally stayed up in bed til night time. I NEVER do that! I think it actually made me feel better. Alex brought me home-made chicken soup from his grandmother's, which was fabulous. He also made me tea... he's so cute. Then the kids and I read books in my bed before they went to sleep. Brooke picked a book about the ABC's of dinosaurs. I had to slyly skip a few pages because that could have been an all-nighter.

ANOTHER week later...

Oh my gosh!! It's harder to find the time to sit and write on this blog than I thought! Also, I don't often feel like I have anything of great importance to say, so I just don't write. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like my life can get pretty boring on an every day basis. Sometimes, I feel like I have NOTHING NEW at all to say to my husband when he calls me during the day. Isn't that just sad??

I guess if I think about it, I do have a lot going on lately.

Megan's First Holy Communion is on Sat, so we're having a party after. Because my niece Brenna is the same age (and also celebrating communion) it's a joint party for both girls. That means I will have more people here than I typically do for family parties. I have to say, my sister Ali's in-laws are like part of the family - it's not like we aren't close or anything, so it won't be awkward. (I do tend to panic and get mighty anxious is social situations, but that's a story for another post).

Of course we're throwing the party together, which is nice - but since it's at my house I am definitely stressing over making sure everything looks nice and put together. That's just me. Tomorrow will be spent cleaning til my back feels like it's on fire.

I can't really pre-clean too much - other than the kids rooms, which I already have under control. Mainly because our house is really open, and the kids are really in and out of the kitchen/family room/bathrooms in the downstairs constantly, so I'd be better off waiting til the last minute. At least Alex took a day off tomorrow, so he'll help some, but I was counting on him to neaten up the yard. I think he really expected me to just do everything on my own without his help.

I really do.

I asked him the other day if he was going to be able to give me some time to help get things in order for the party, and he was stammering and blahblahblah about his schedule. I mean, I appreciate that he has a lot of confidence in my abilities managing parties and all, but hello??? There will be about 70 people at my house on Saturday morning. I have three young kids that I have to manage all day long, and half of the time, Alex doesn't roll in til after they're in bed. So. I guess I'd say I don't NEED his help, but I'd sure APPRECIATE his help, you know??!

Saturday is plain out of the picture for cleaning. I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to make a massive Ziti, a massive fruit salad, and just get other party-type stuff in order. THEN, after all of that, I still have to make sure Megan looks great, as well as the other kids - they also have to eat breakfast and in general, try to keep the house looking perfect before church - MAYBE I will have time to get my fat butt into something that doesn't make me look like a horse before we go for an 11:00 am service. My sister did say she'd come over early to help get everything ready, I hope she does. Oh well, our parties always turn out great, and I really am not too worried about it. It's not like it's a bunch of people I don't know.

Do you think I could get a refrigerator in one day? I mean, I'd really like to get a second fridge for the garage, because there is never enough room in my fridge for food when we have a party. Can you just walk into Lowe's and say, "I'll take a fridge?" and you go put it on a thing and bring it home? I'm going to see if we can make that happen for tomorrow. Nothing like waiting til the last minute!!

A Week Later...

I'm very motivated to keep up this blog, my goal is to post at least a few times a week. This past week though was HARD! I had three little punks home from school for the week with their spring vacation, and it was just BEAUTIFUL out!!!

Couldn't have been any better than if I planned it.

Lots of moms get this particular look on their faces when you say the words "week off of school," and it isn't pretty. It's like we're all panicked at the thought of spending 7 full days with our offspring - no break whatsoever. I tend to feel this way also. But let me tell you, it was a great week at our house. Shockingly, everyone got a long well, even with cousins in town for the week. Because it was so pleasant outside, the kids just played in the neighborhood ALL WEEK LONG!

We live in a pretty small neighborhood, consisting of three streets. On our street there are 11 houses, and 20 kids ranging from 5 months to about 15 years. The majority of the kids are in the 8-12 year-old range, and my kids just fall nicely into that category. Within the past few months, a family moved into the neighborhood that has a little girl Megan's age - they have become the best of friends - spending every day riding bikes, making lemonade stands, going from our house to theirs and back again to ours - just generally happy to have each other.

I truly hate the electronic age we are in (as I sit writing this on my laptop :] ), in the respect that our kids spend so little time interacting with each other face-to-face, spend so much more time on computers and in front of TVs and video games. I say "our kids," but I don't mean my kids. My most often used phrase is "Go play outside," or "Go find someone to play with." In my opinion, the TV is for a movie on a rainy day, it is not supposed to be a playmate. We have all of the typical toys, and we do use them - but definitely as a LAST CHOICE. My son plays Guitar Hero on the wii that he had to have, and chats with friends on aim, but usually after the sun has gone down, homework is done, and the evening is winding down. If it isn't raining or real cold, my kids are definitely outside -building forts in the woods, exploring the neighborhood on their bikes, jumping on the trampoline, throwing together a pick-up game of soccer or baseball, or pushing each other on the swings. We make picnics, do painting and play-do on the back porch... I feel like we are lucky though. One of my sisters lives in the woods - pretty isolated and a few miles from town. She has to arrange play-dates (which I abhor), and her son (the youngest with two older sisters) tends to play alone a lot, with nobody to just track down and hang around with.

I keep trying to get my sister to move back to our town. I am confident that she can RECREATE all of the coolness that she has where they live now, right HERE at home -- in our little town.

My sister feeling guilt about her son missing his cousins may be working in my favor!



success

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson