Wow. I just got off the phone with my friend Holly, who told me she is pregnant! My other friend Val is unexpectedly pregnant too, and now I feel JEALOUS! Val and Holly will both be turning 40 in the next few months, and I am right behind them. I always told my husband if we have one more, then it has to be before I am forty. So now I am adjusting it a TEENY bit to being PREGNANT before I turn 40. That buys me a little bit of time, in case we decide to go down that road just ONE MORE TIME.
My biggest fear is that I will die.
Honestly, Brooke's emergency birth was really scary... I have this terrible feeling that if I went there again, I would end up being that statistic - the mom that dies with a complication. So I tell myself that having another baby for me is sort of selfish, and that is what has been holding me back. I mean, the kids I have already need me.
Besides, Alex could never make it without me. LOL.
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