mean girls

My (10 year old) daughter was all upset yesterday after school.


Apparently, (at least) one of her good friends has been teasing her about her weight.  Making digs at her that she eats too much, is lazy, doesn't exercise enough.  And I was seething inside when she was telling me this.  Seething.  Because, really?  Really??

Fat?

She is ten.  


Personally, I feel like it is never too early to have a healthy attitude about exercise and smart food options. I always encourage that stuff, because I sure know that at a certain point, it becomes way more difficult to maintain a healthy weight.  


I keep using the word healthy. Because that's what it all boils down to for me.  Being overweight for the most part is unhealthy - it makes your body have to work much harder, it lends itself to all sorts of health-related problems.  It just does, unfortunately. 

Megan does get tons of exercise - that girl rides her bike like a champion, swims her head off, jumps on the trampoline, runs around outside, etc.  I'm the only (mean) mom in the entire neighborhood that actually makes my kids walk home from school every day - because I believe walking is great exercise. I am hugely opposed to kids sitting around watching TV when it is nice enough to play outside.  My most often used phrase to my kids is, "go outside and play!"  Megan has always had a great, healthy appetite.  Of course she enjoys snacks - but she also loves fruit and veggies, is willing to try anything, and always cleans her plate. I keep very little "crap" food around the house, because I have no willpower. If there is a bag of chips or a thing of cookies in my cabinet, I will eat them. So I don't buy them. I also don't buy soda.  We drink water and milk here, sometimes sugar free iced tea.  The ice cream I buy is sugar free. I make a huge effort to provide healthy things.


Anyway, she is a little girl.  I don't believe she should have to have worries about body image at this age!  She shouldn't have many worries at all at this age.  And frankly, I can't even imagine that in fifth grade, girls are already so mean!  I thought we had a few years before the "mean girl" stage started.  I think she should be able to focus on playing and being a kid for as long as possible.  And for what it is worth, she is not overweight.   She falls on the charts pretty much exactly in the middle, average.  Unfortunately for her, the majority of her closest friends are just naturally skinny.  Like, flat and straight.  My niece Brenna (who is her age and her best friend) is a gymnast.  Her body is solid.  She is basically a tiny little muscle - just like a little rock, six pack and all.  A few of the other good friends have tall, trim parents.  They are little beanpoles.  A couple of the other girls she is good friends with are huge athletes.  They are trim and muscular.  Standing beside them, I can see where they would notice a difference.


I try to tell her all of the time that everyone is different. But this year, I've noticed her standing in the mirror more, checking out her side view, sucking in her belly, and it makes me so sad!  Sad and mad, actually.


How do I get her to see that she is perfect as she is?  That being shorter, less flat-bellied and straight is OK, that she doesn't need to compare herself to other kids.  How do I get her to hear my voice over the mean girls voices? 

tractors and levitating

Last night at our house:

"Thanks for dinner Mom.  I'm going out front to ride my tractor for a while."  the 4-yr-old girl.

"I'm going upstairs to practice levitating." the 12-yr-old boy.

"Well, I guess I'll just go to my room then." the 21-yr-old girl.

chicken pox. or is it?

The last time my kids went in the hot tub, two of them got the CHICKEN POX.  

Or so my Pediatrician suspected. 

And I was shocked.  Shocked because both of them had the varicella vaccinations as scheduled, and I kinda thought it would actually prevent them from getting chicken pox. 

So anyway, we were at my sister's in CT and the kids spent their time going from the hot tub to the pool to the hot tub all weekend, and they were having a great old time.  We went home, and everything seemed normal, but then Alex turned up with this rash, all over his belly, and it was spreading.  So I checked the other kids, because I was like, what is this?  And Meg had it too.  I was thinking about what they ate, what they did - trying to figure out why they were having a reaction and what it was related to.  It never once crossed my mind that it could be chicken pox.

So I brought them to the doc because it was irritating, and they were uncomfortable.  And they made us come in through a back door and then SEQUESTERED us in the basement!!  Really, they did!  Because obviously if it was a highly contagious rash, they didn't want to infect any other patients.  I thought they might want to have a better plan in place for such a thing, but who am I to complain.

After a short wait, the Dr. came down and examined them and said they had the freaking chicken pox, and I was like, what?!  Then I felt nervous.  I have never had them, and I know it can be dangerous to adults.  The doctor proceeded to write a note to get the kids out of school for a week, she gave me paperwork on it, and sent me on my merry way.

Ugh.

Of course I called my sisters to tell them, because our kids were together all week, and when I mentioned it to my sister Jen (who is an RN), she said, "I bet it's the hot tub rash, Julian has it too."  I had never heard of it, so I googled it (what else is new?) and sure enough, it looked exactly like the pictures I saw.  Jenney told me that apparently it is easy to make the mistake, because the rashes do look very similar.  Jen was beside herself because she has a pool/hot tub guy that is supposed to make sure everything is maintained properly, and clearly he didn't do his job.  (Jenney has a guy for everything - mowing, shoveling, plowing, pool  maintenance, etc.  I wish I had a guy.)

And to bring this long-winded story to a close, I self diagnosed my kids with the hot tub rash (real name: foliculitis), they cleared up on their own in a few days and Jen drained her hot tub and had it thoroughly cleaned and disinfected.  When I called the doc to suggest the hot tub rash, she wouldn't concur (I love that word), and I know it's because she didn't want to admit she misdiagnosed them.

That's OK though.  I still love her, and besides, I know I was right.

I was reading Jana, from the meanestmom blog, and her post reminded me of this incident. (disclaimer: I am in no way stealing her idea so I can get more readers. Or am I?)

Birthday Girl

Happy, Happy Birthday to my beautiful, smart, sensitive, compassionate, funny, mischievous reading-machine,  Megan Catherine.  Nine years ago today you were born at 2:55 pm with a full head of dark hair... crying and crying because you weren't quite ready to come out of the cooker yet.

You make me smile every single day.  I love you!

TV and half-wits

I like my TV, but it isn't something that is like, all important to me.  Well, scratch that.  My shows that I love are really, really important to me, but a lot of times, I think I could handle quitting TV altogether.  Really.  I swear.

So I was never one of those people who's kids sat in front of the TV for hours and hours, just spacing out and stuff.  And I don't let them just have a free-for-all and watch whatever they want.  There are tons of things out there in TV-Land that are just not for little kids to be seeing/hearing.  I don't use my TV as a babysitter, for the most part.  I mean it helps entertain when I am trying to get something done, but I typically make my kids play.  Like really play - with each other or their friends here or in the neighborhood.  Or even (gasp!) play by themselves.

So my sweet, adorable Meggie, who was probably about 3 or 4 at the time, was painting a picture for me at the kitchen table and we were chatting, and she says to me with this big happy wide-toothed smile: "Mom, just shut your half-wit pie-hole."

I was like, "What?!"

And she says, a little softer and quieter, probably because of my shocked-looking face, "Shut your half-wit. Pie. Hole?"  like a s l o w, nervous question.

And I had to turn around, with my back to her, and bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.  Because even though it was so inappropriate, coming out of my sweet little girlie's mouth, it sounded so bad it was funny.  But of course I didn't want her to think that.

"Meg, you can't say that. That's inappropriate!  Where in the world did you hear such a thing?!"  I said, turning when I had myself under control.  She does have an older brother and sister, but we don't swear in front of our kids, and we don't say stuff like that.  At all.

"But Squidward said it to Spongebob."  She said.  Innocent.  With her sweet little pouty face

Ahhhhhh.... Spongebob.  Nick Jr.  So I got it.  It taught me to watch those shows on Nick Jr. that I was letting my kids watch, thinking it was innocent, like Sesame Street.  But man, some of the things I heard on that channel, a channel that I always thought was designed for little kids,  seem to have adult humor that goes way over my kid's heads. 

At least I'd like to think they go over my kid's heads.

A Poem Meg wrote for her free writing journal

Families

by Megan, age almost 8

One thing about families is love,

But your brother is annoying and he might shove.

They all care about you too,

But when you get in your older sister's room she would say "Shoo!"

You all have laughs,

Especially when doing crafts.

Mom would think it's a disaster,

We'd have to stop because she is the Master!