a small, scary freak-show of a world out there in the online dating community

So I was recently appalled.

I was chatting with someone about her vast and insane experiences in the online dating world, and she told me about one particular incident that completely had my mouth open in like, shock.

And you know, I'm not all innocent! I know things! I know there are all sorts of weirdos with weird fetishes out there. I mean, guys, people are weird.

As I said in a recent post (click HERE), I can't imagine being in the dating world these days, trying to navigate through a conglomeration of freaking crazy nut jobs, just to find one normalish dude who doesn't want to murder me on vacation.

ANYway, back to the weird incident. So apparently, she met this guy on an online dating site, and he asked her if she would be into the kind of thing where she would leave her door open on a night that was pre-determined, and he would sneak inside, in a mask, and hook up with her. No talking. Just a masked hook up. No pre-getting-to-know-you-are-you-as-weird-as-I-am coffee date, just a miscellaneous hook up with an unknown masked man. A faux-rape date, if you will.

Huh.

Do people actually DO that??  Like, the girl knows absolutely nothing about the guy - no name, no face, no way to give anyone any details if the guy turns out to be a freaking ax murderer. Imagine how it would go if you had to give the cops a description, "Well, he was in all black, head to toe, he was quiet and sneaky, hm.. average in weiner size... kind of crappy in the sack..." and the cops would be all, "Um ma'am, I don't think that is really going to help us with the investigation."

I was like, "Haha, I wonder how many times he throws that out there before someone bites." So she was like, "Well I was intrigued... it could be like a fantasy thing." And I was like, "OMFG, you're going to get killed." (This is not the first time I have said those same exact words when discussing her online dating experiences) And during this conversation, my cousin came along and was all, "OMG a person I work with was talking with the same guy on Tinder!" Dude gets around... 

I guess it's a small, scary freak-show of a world out there in the online dating community.

Alex better not die because if he did, I think I'd be destined to be alone forever.

I don't want to get strangled while I'm on vacation, so I guess I'll just stay married then

Sometimes I remain married mostly because every other guy out in the world seems to be a freaking psycho. (just kidding, hon)

I just read this thing about a person about my age who was dating someone, a professional, normal looking guy. A lawyer, even. And it turns out they went on vacation and besides whooping it up, drinking margaritas on the beach and having raucous hotel sex, as people generally do when they're on vacation, the guy decided to strangle his girlfriend. So now she's all dead.

So that's slightly terrifying for single people out there, just trying to meet someone nice.  How does one go about avoiding the psychos out there when they are so clever at hiding in plain sight, looking all normal and non-murderous?

A lot of times, it seems like the people that are getting divorced are the people in my age group - their 40's or so. Its not like people my age can just meet another guy walking along on campus, or strike up a flirty conversation with that cute guy you sit next to in Psychology 101. You have to actively try, like actually put yourself out there, if you're interested in meeting someone and/or dating. 

How the hell is an introvert like myself supposed to meet someone?  I don't go out really. I'm not a bar hopper or anything. And I don't actually even work (outside of the house). The only opportunity I ever have to meet people is like, at a kids school or sporting event. And who wants to get into that whole ball of wax anyway? I'd have no interest in dating locally... way too uncomfortable, if you ask me. How else are people my age supposed to meet decent, non-murderous guys to date?  There must be a general checklist of questions to ask someone before you get to the point of kind of digging them.

Here are a few questions that I would ask a potential date PRIOR TO actually going someplace alone, and in the dark, with someone new:

1. Are you a psycho?

2. Will you strangle me if we go on vacation?

3. What kind of thing would encourage you to strangle me if we were on vacation?

4. Have you ever strangled someone on vacation?

5. And lastly, about the strangling, have you ever considered strangling someone on vacation?

5. If you are normal and non-murderous, do you enjoy sitting on the couch and watching reality TV while eating takeout?

6. And finally, do you listen to stupid music? Because if so, this interview is OVER.