I have no desire to live in So Cal

Last night we were sitting on the couch half watching TV, half not. We were miscellaneously chatting, discussing the stupid weather that we're currently experiences here in upstate NY. We had our first snowstorm of the year a few days ago. My poor trees are so confused. Last week there were cute little buds popping out, getting all ready to make the trees full with leaves, and this week - ugh.

I love snow. Actually, I love winter. The cold is my favorite, in a weird way. It's also really nice to have different seasons... it's one of the things that I like best about where I live. But it's not winter anymore, it's spring. And snow shouldn't be making an appearance right about now.

Anyway, I was like, "Wow, I can't believe it's April! April 6th already! This snow is ridiculous."

And Alex, who's been super busy at work lately, was paying more attention to important work emails, absently says, "I know, right?"

"April 6th... is that Flag day? Something is on April 6th..." I said. Then I remembered. "Oh! It's (one of my old boyfriend's) birthday!"

And Alex looks up, "You remember his birthday?  That was like, 30 years ago."

So I said, "Well! I'm good with dates!"

Then we got into this whole lengthy discussion about a boyfriend that I had in like, high school. Living across the country, it's not like he and I would ever run into each other or anything, and also I'm pretty sure he hates me, but whatever. I haven't seen that guy's face in so many years. I wonder what he looks like as a grown up. I wonder if people call him by his real name, as opposed to his nickname. I'm not sure I could call him something other than his nickname, it would be too weird.

Then Alex was like, "His firm is one of the ones my group had recently talked about joining, wouldn't that be so weird? I think they can bring their families on their annual partners meetings. Imagine that?"

I was all momentarily startled, "Um, NO. I can't imagine that! That would be horrifying! You know that's my worst nightmare!"

One of my biggest anxieties is accidentally running into people that I used to know. It's probably what keeps me in my house so much. I need mental preparation so I don't come off as a moron. Coming off as a moron is definitely one of my worst things.

It would be much better if we didn't live in my little town where everyone knows everyone else. Everyone knows your past, your history, the branches of your family, the skeletons you have in your closet... everything. It's really one of the things that I don't love about living where I live. A lot of people really like that deep history... living in a place where generations of your family has lived before you. Alex and I both have a lot of history here, family-wise. I do like that I have roots somewhere, and I honestly like my little town in general. I just guess I think I would way rather live somewhere where I could just be me, now.

I'd rather live in a place where people could decide if they like you or don't like you based on what you put out to them, to the world, not based on how you behaved as a 15 year-old, or your grandparent's wealth or something stupid like that. I'd be more comfortable where there are no pre-conceived ideas of who you are. I hate feeling pre-judged.

ANYway, for my sanity's sake, I'm going to do my best to make sure my husband's group stays out of southern California, and definitely far, far away from an old high school boyfriend's firm. 

back but holy travel, I'm out again tomorrow

So I went to CA to meet up with my sister and friend for a few days.  It was really fun, we did some stuff that I didn't do last time I was in California, had some good eats, checked out some cool sights, did a little shopping.  Those guys walked my face off - I even had a blister!  Sheesh.  Thankfully I am highly prepared at all times and I had a band-aid.  As well as pretty much anything else I could possibly need, just in case.  My packing for basically three days away was ridiculous.  It always is.

I have a packing problem.  I'm a packaholic.

All in all, good get-away.  This one wasn't super planned though, I just kind of tagged along with my sister and jumped in on her get-away.  Not sure where I'll go next - I'm thinking Seattle, maybe UT.  I am pretty much planning on going to Denver in January for a wedding, maybe I will extend that stay... who knows?

Speaking of weddings, that's where we're going tomorrow.  We're going to South Carolina for a wedding, flying out tomorrow morning.  It'll be nice to see some of Alex's family, which doesn't happen very often, but it is going to be a pretty quick visit.  We're flying home on Sunday.

Man, I feel like I've barely seen my kids at all this week!!  Boo to that.  Kara and her boyfriend are coming home to babysit, so that'll be nice.  I like when they're here.

So anyway, I may not be checking in til next week or so.  Maybe I'll have some time to do a post tomorrow, not sure, but if not, happy weekend!

friday five

It's Friday, late afternoon and it is pouring.  It's been pouring all day.  This morning I rolled out of bed so freaking early,  I felt like an animal.  How do people get up at 7:00 am?

I am not a fan of sleeping in actually, I can't really do it.  I can never sleep past nine.  I hate wasting the day, even if it's dark and dreary out and warm and cozy in, and under the covers.

So anyway, I had to get up at the asscrack of dawn to go pick my girls up from my Mom's house so I could get them to school on time.  They spent the night because we were out at a freaking awesome concert last night til late.  We went to see Morrissey.  I love him.  I don't care that he's not into girls.  I just love his smooth, velvety voice.  

So we went to this concert and I was so happy because I was not surrounded by a bunch of young kids feeling all out of place.  However, I was surrounded by hipsters - tons and tons of them, all wearing their glasses and hats and beards.  Several pompadours were observed, especially in the front row.  Which I had a good view of.  Because I had great seats, that's why.  I did feel a little out of place surrounded by the hipsters, I have to admit.  It's hard to fit in and feel somewhat cool around them.  

The concert was good.  Rather loud though, I know I sound like my grandmother saying that.  I probably looked like my Nan too kind of holding my ears closed a snitch.  It really was LOUD!  I bet if I was younger I wouldn't have even noticed.  The drummer was awesome and there was a gong.  No, not a bong (darn it!) a gong.  We were five rows back and right smack in the center, so I could literally see the sweat on Morrissey's brow.   It was awesome.  He has a really sexy underbite.

Anyway, moving on... tomorrow will be another asscrack of dawn kinda morning for me, because I am flying out to San Francisco to meet my sister and friend.  We're going to hang for a few days like girls.  It'll be so nice, I can't wait.   Hopefully the weather is good.  That reminds me, I better go pack!  

So if you don't hear from me for a few days, don't you worry.  I'm all good (unless I die a fiery death in a tragic plane crash.  in that case, farewell.) and I will catch up when I get back sometime next week.

Happy weekend!

friday five

It's Friday, about 3:00 and I have to go pick Brooke up form school soon.  This past week has been gorgeous.  Super, awesome perfect fall weather.  My absolute favorite!  Can you tell?  It's just so nice because I hate sun beating on me without a breeze or hint of cool air or shade somewhere.  That's why I'm pretty sure I would die if someone tried to force me to live in some sweaty, hot muggy region.  Like Florida.

I was talking to someone recently about my favorite weather (pretty exciting topic, eh?)  and he told me that San Diego would be my ideal climate.  So, San Diego.  Hm.  I could live in a whale's vagina.  OK, that sounded so hideous, please click the link so you grasp what I am saying.  I can not say San Diego without thinking about that stupid clip from the Anchorman where Ron Burgundy is trying to tell Veronica Corningstone that San Diego was discovered by the German's and the name translates to "a whale's vagina."  Sorry.  It had to be said.

So anyway, yeah.  I guess I can see it.  Just packing up and moving to a whole other coast.  I'm not sure that my family would be on board.  Well, I'm sure the kids wouldn't hate living by the ocean.  Come to think of it, Alex's firm actually has an office in San Diego.  Hm. Kara would be all over it, she's dying to get to CA.  She's been angling for a move to Santa Monica since we visited in March.  I would never move to LA.  I did not love it there.  But if she was in Santa Monica and we were in San Diego, at least we would be close enough to visit easily.   I think I might be afraid of earthquakes.  In NY, we don't really have any of that scary weather crap looming over our heads that could kill us.

I'm going to California in about a month, actually.  I'll be heading out there with my sister and her friend, then I'll stay a few extra days by myself when they leave.  I'm really looking forward to it.  Last year I was in SF during the fall, and it was so nice.  I'll have to think of some fun things to do and see while I'm there.  And eat.  There are tons of great places to eat.

Speaking of food, I'm hungry.  Gotta go eat some lunch!  Happy weekend.

Traipsing about the Bay A

I went away this past week...  I took a little trip out to San Francisco.  A little trip all by myself.

When friends around here heard that I was going off alone they looked at me like I was a little off.  Like going somewhere on my own was weird.  A few people were all like, Wow!  That's so brave of you!  Doing it all by yourself! 

I think they meant that in a positive way?  I am a very independent person.  I don't feel like I need someone with me to be able to do things that I want to do.  I'm perfectly OK with making a solo trip.  Maybe that makes me weird.  Of course I love to travel with my family, and I do often, but it's nice to sort of escape from real life sometimes.  To take a break from every day responsibilities and just wind down.

I was thinking back to a time where I just threw a bag in my crappy car and drove til I was too tired to drive anymore.  All alone.  My first real solo trip.  I had traveled alone to meet up with people before, but never just a time that I knew was just going to be mine.  I think I made it 9 or 10 hours.  And I spent a week not speaking to anyone but the clerks at the places where I grabbed a bite to eat.  It was fantastic.

I regrouped.  I thought about things.  I read.  I walked.  I basked in the sun.  I explored.  I relaxed my tense brain.

Sometimes, for someone like me, getting away is a really good thing.  It's just enough to keep, for a while.

Here is a little smattering of some of the things that I did and saw in San Fran:

*Walked way down to the Ferry Building and saw the Bay Bridge, all lit up and beautiful in the darkness. 

*Went to Muir Woods and walked though the trails, feeling so very small compared to those massive redwoods.

*Stopped at Muir beach and walked barefoot in the sand.

*Went to Sausalito and got a great sandwich (and cookie) from a cool little sandwich shop.

*Pulled over and stopped for an amazing view of the Golden Gate Bridge on a gorgeous clear day.

*Went down Lombard(?) Street, the crookedest street. So cool and steep and narrow.

*Rode the BART.

*Went to Monterey, walking along Cannery Row and saw the Monterey Aquarium.  Had a great meal there, mini portions of sea scallops and steak and risotto and a chocolatey dessert thing that just melted in my mouth.  And also a crepe thing that I actually had to force myself to stop eating.

*Visited the tiny sleepy little town of Davenport, where I walked along a secret beach and had a big fat raspberry muffin and a perfect cup of coffee.

*Rode on a cable car.

*Explored a bunch of districts in the city, went to China Town and spent a bunch of time (but not much money!) in the shopping district.

*Got dinner from this amazingly cool restaurant that is outdoors and plays old foreign films on the wall.  Had the best cheese I have ever tasted from there, some kind of mozzarella that I wish I remembered the name of.

*Walked around Fisherman's Wharf and had a great bowl of clam chowder and got stalked and harassed by a gross seagull.  Checked out the smelly seals laying around on the docks, looked at Alcatraz and debated taking a ferry over to see up close.  Went into this cool old time arcade where they had these real, old fashioned arcade games and things that you could play for a quarter.

*Walked and walked and walked.

*Ate and ate and ate.

Ah, there were so many more amazing things!  I want to write it all down so I don't forget any of it!

I am so glad I went, so glad that I didn't chicken out and find some great excuse to keep me from such an awesome week.

The only bad thing was that I FORGOT MY CAMERA.  Can you believe that??!  All of the pictures that I am posting were from my iphone.  Unfortunately they are nothing spectacular, but definitely enough to remind me of some great moments.  I did some tweaking and editing of course, but overall a few not so bad shots.

I am already thinking of the next destination for another solo trip... any ideas for me?  Where would you go if you were going on a solo trip?

walk across the diamonds

                                                            Mission Street, SF

Lime Tree

Spark a match and watch the candle burn
the wick runs out and love takes its turn
on fallen angels and broken sounds
we will last past the final round
it took a while for you to find me
because i was hiding in the lime tree
above the city in the rain cloud
i poked a hole and watched it drain out
parallel to the city streets
our broken crowns beneath our feet
but as we walk across the diamonds
we know that love is always shining
so save me love save me all the time
i'll wash you down with a simple sip of wine
and toast my glass to all my loved ones
to let them know that the stars well they still shine

                                                       -Trevor Hall