nothing to talk about

I can't believe it's Thursday.  This week has flown by so fast, I feel like my head is spinning!

I woke up this morning remembering that the cleaning person was supposed to be coming.  I so didn't want to have to get up and showered and be like, presentable enough to have someone in the house.  I guess it's not that big of a deal, to be moseying around in my pjs with the cleaning person around.  I mean, it's not like I wear anything other than yoga pants and a tank top to bed usually, but I certainly had to put my bra on.  Damn it.  I rather like it when I can free-boob it.  Can't really do that outside of my house though, or I'd look like one of those ladies that go to the grocery all dirty with their boobs at their bellybuttons.

Well, not that my boobs would be at my bellybutton, but my cup definitely runneth over in that department, so it wouldn't look too attractive.  I always wished that I was flat chested.  Seems like you always kind of want what you don't have.

OK, enough about my boobs.  Jeez guys.

You know, if I had much more to talk about, we could move on from my boobs, but I think I'm going to wrap this boring filler post with a funny cat thing that I just saw somewhere, because I like to share funny things.  And I'm not really even a cat person!  Well, except the purring, drooly kind.

My resignation as an adult will be handed in shortly

I am sorry, I get myself crazy reading these autocorrects, so I am just going to go ahead and share.  They get me every.single.time. and they are vulgar. I can't help it that I find these so freaking hilarious.  Don't judge!

  

my awesome partner

This week's list is 10 ways that my partner is awesome.  So, that's not too hard at all.  

So here we go:

1.  He leaves me notes with stick figure drawings on them, pretty much every day.

2.  He always cleans up the vomit - all of it - kids, mine, dog... he's the best vomit cleaner-upper I know.

3.  He does any chore - not just the "guy" chores.  He'll do laundry or dishes or whatever needs doing.  He panics at the grocery store, but he'll still go if I ask him to.

4.  He carries my bags.  All of them.  Always.

5.  He defers to my TV and movie choices, even if they're girly.

6.  He never yells (at me or in general) or calls me names, and he won't fight with me.

7.  He gets up with the kids in the morning to make breakfast and lunches so I can sleep in a little.

8.  He works really hard every day.  He's affectionate and loving, and he doesn't snore.

9.  He accepts me as I am - wrinkles, weight, crappy pink haircut, random cranky mood, whatever... he never ever says anything that makes me feel bad about myself.

10.  He never tries to control me.  He knows when I need space, and he gives it to me.

OK, I am not done.  There are way more.  I have to add a bonus five.  Sorry if you are all sick of reading how awesome Alex is.

11.  He makes me laugh, pretty much every day.  He's a funny guy.

12.  If he asks me, "What's for dinner?"  and I say, "Take out?"  He always answers, "That's exactly what I was thinking!"

13.  He's not a bar-hopper or big drinker, and he's not the type to ogle other women in my presence.  He's really respectful.

14.  He never gives me a hard time about spending money, he's not all tight with a buck.

15.  He's really smart.  He can fix pretty much anything.  And if he can't, it bugs him, so he'll figure it out and he'll do it right.

I think one of the best things about Alex though, is that he tries to understand me, and that's really important to me.

Friday Five blog hop

So it's Friday, which means I'm hosting this Friday Five Blog Hop thing again.  Basically, it's a super easy post.  I used to just set the timer and free write, whatever was on my mind, without trying to censor or think too hard.  Usually, once I started, it was easy, and I didn't have to think about it at all.

That's kind of my goal for this blog hop - just five minutes of free writing.  Nothing Fancy, nothing planned, nothing needing to be humorous, or inspiring or anything for others - just for you.

So set your timer!  When you're finished, link up and share!

It's a little after 4, and it's been a long day.  I feel like I have a lot to do and only a little bit of time to do it.

I was doing a bit of running around today - actually this is the first time I've sat down at the computer all day!  It always seems like I have so much to do, but not enough time to do it.  Tonight we are going to the local high school play, so that should be fun.

I like those things.  Kara used to be in every high school production... when she graduated, I really missed going to see her stuff.  I was glad she continued with it in college, and now she does some things here and there in NYC.

Here's my kid Kara singing a tune from the musical Wicked when she was in college:




Aw, that clip makes me miss my kiddo.  Even though she's only a few hours away, it's still hard to see her all that often.  Ah well, I get that she's doing her thing, and I'm happy that she is happy.

Well, time's up!  Happy weekend to you guys.

the last word, v10

People Magazine has this feature thing on the last page of their magazine.  On the last page, they have a feature called the last word (so clever!) where a celebrity answers a few questions on the last things they've done.  So even though I'm not a celebrity or anything (wait. what?!), I'm going to go ahead and answer the questions.  Because, why not?

The last concert I went to was Morrissey, a few months ago.  I am a huge fan, and it was the first time I had seen him in concert - up close and personal.  I definitely could see the sweat on his brow and he changed his shirt several times.  It was a good night, and being surrounded by hipsters made me feel a little bit cool.

The last gift I gave was unfortunately not all that thoughtful.  My nieces Bridgett and Brenna both had their birthdays a few weeks ago, and I was kind of a slacker on actually purchasing a physical gift.  So they got cash, which they certainly didn't seem too offended over.

The last reality show I watched was The Bachelor finale Monday night, with that cutie Sean Lowe.  No wait!  Survivor last night, which was freaking crazy with psycho Brandon.  It was definitely the most dramatic episode ever!

The last thing I cooked was Kabocha squash, steamed lemon broccoli and asparagus, and quinoa.  That was my dinner tonight and it was awesome.  I honest to God seriously considered licking my plate.

My last grooming experience was a pedicure.  I got one a few weeks ago.  What stinks is, it still looks good, like not chipped nail polish or anything, except one of my nails broke!  So I guess I have to go for a re-do.  Which isn't the worst thing in the world.

The last time I got angry was in Florida.  We were supposed to meet up with my sisters to go to dinner, and my jerk sister Ali so rudely didn't wait for us, so we got far behind them in the boat line.  She's very cut-throat about her place in line at Disney.  Ugh, I was seriously annoyed.  That was last month.  I don't get mad that often.  Maybe I was cranky.

The last time I stayed up late was probably last night, or the night before, or the night before.  I stay up late pretty much every night.  Often times tip 1:30 or 2:00 am.  I like the quiet dark.

The last thing I splurged on was probably airplane tickets.  We often drive to Florida because Ali is scared to fly, but this year we decided to fly because the drive just seemed so daunting.  So you know, five tickets was kind of a splurge.  But whatever, it was so worth it when I was home relaxing before my sister even made it out of Georgia.

The last purchase I made was so very exciting.  This morning I bought heartworm medicine for my dog, because I am a good and conscientious pet owner.  It was preventative medicine, she does not have heartworm.  

The last time I went out to dinner was, once again, in Florida, about three weeks ago.  I went out to breakfast, lunch and dinner every day I was in Florida actually, which is exactly why I gained a few pounds while I was there.  Not good.  Well, apparently the food was very good, but the gaining part really sucks.

parents in the drop off line, as explained by their cars

You can tell a lot about someone by the vehicle they drive, I think.  I spend a lot of time in the madness that is the drop-off and pick-up lane at school.  It is absolutely like, the most irritating thing ever.  I've learned to get over it though, because it is what it is.  My kid doesn't take the bus, and she's too little to walk alone, so I must suffer.  In sitting there, you get to do a little people watching, which can be entertaining, and I've come to a few conclusions.

This is my take on parents, as explained by their cars:

Beat up mini-van  - The mom that will cut you if you cut her in line.  Or at the very least, flip you off and mouth non-school-age appropriate insults while you pretend you didn't see her.

Shiny new mini van - The type-A mom who is obviously already dressed and  showered  and about to carry in 24 perfectly decorated cupcakes for her perfectly dressed child's birthday.  She'll also be carrying color coordinated juice boxes and goodie bags.  And she'll do it all in one trip.

Open Jeep Wrangler - The effortlessly cool dad, that all of the other dads want to be like.

Beefy pick up truck - The probably ruggedly attractive dad, who is on his way to do something really rugged.  And attractive.

Luxury sedan - The mom who is popping a Xanax and swigging some vodka from her "water bottle" as soon as she gets her little angels out of the car.

The car plastered with political and/or churchy bumper stickers - The self righteous mom who refuses a playdate if she thinks you voted Dem.

Hummer - The intimidating dad, who you are frankly kind of scared of.

Sensible car - The mom who wouldn't dream of getting something that wasn't dull practical and reliable.  Like loafers.

SUV - The skinny, high maintenance soccer mom.  Probably on her way to the gym.  In really cute, matchy-matchy gym clothes, of course.
  
Prius - The mom who only buys organic.  And must constantly talk about only buying organic.  And looks her nose down on those who do not buy organic.

Obviously, this is just for fun, but apparently there is actually a psychology behind the cars you choose to drive.  When we see a shiny red convertible with a balding middle aged guy driving it, we immediately think "mid-life crisis."  We usually can't help but associate a certain type of car with a certain type of person, but do we really know who’s behind the wheel?  

Maybe.  Like it or not, what we drive can send messages.  And it's not just the make/model of the car the can define you, it's the color too!

I just read this thing that said people who choose black cars tend to be more aggressive, and rebellious.  Well, I drive a black car, and I'm not aggressive, though I guess I am kind of rebellious.

According to this article, if you drive a silver car, you're likely cool, calm, and you may be a loner.  Green means that you are reactive.  Yellow cars point to idealistic people, and blue cars represent introspective, reflective, and cautious people.  If you drive red, you're an attention seeker, someone who is full of energy.  White cars are for status seekers, and cream colored car drivers are typically contained and controlled.

What do you think?  What do you drive?  Is there any truth to this?

favorite smells

I'm a really sensory person, and I am definitely a smeller.  I love the smell of all sorts of things.  I also get nauseous at the smell of certain things, like the dentist's office or vomit, of course.  In other words, I love and hate the smell of things.  Because that's normal, that's why.

Anyway, this week's list is 10 smells that you love, so here they are, in no particular order.  

10 favorite smells:

1.  I love the smell of clean skin, mmmmm- particularly right out of the bath or     
     shower.

2.  I love the smell of fresh laundry, especially when it is straight out of the 
     dryer.

3.  I love the smell of puppy breath, is that weird?

4.  Of course I love the smell of new baby.  And (clean) diapers.

5.  I love the smell of Christmas trees.

6.  I love the smell of rosemary and lavender.  Separately.

7.  I love the way my mom smells.  I could definitely pick her out of a line up
     blindfolded.

8.  Oddly, I love the smell of hospitals, every time I am in one, I feel like I am   
     supposed to be there, working.

9.  I love the smell of this perfume, Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden.

10. And I absolutely love the smell of Thanksgiving dinner cooking.  Ooh, that just made me hungry.

What smells do you love?

I could really use a f*cking donut!

I'm hosting a blog hop!  I'm a blog hop hoster! I hope you'll humor me and link up so I don't look like a dumbass to the whole entire Blogiverse.  If you're new to this blog or missed the heads up, it's pretty simple and straightforward - you write a post on Friday - just 5 minutes or so.  It could be a wrap up of your week, it could be a miscellaneous ramble, a to-do list, a grocery list... anything really.  Maybe even be a weekly topic if people seem interested.  Then, you link up at the bottom of this post, and that's it!  Well, of course it would be nice if you read any other links and commented, but still, simple stuff right?  It's also a nice way to meet and connect with other bloggers out there, apparently.  So come on guys... in the famous words of the Nike advertisers, just do it!  I even made an official button!  Because I am so official and stuff.  Feel free  to share it anywhere on your blog.

My current view...

So anyway, it's Friday, again.  It's still morning but I was up and at 'em pretty early.  First with phone calls and texts from the school at some ungodly hour of like 6:30 am or something.  They were calling and texting to inform me that school was delayed, and then again a bit later to tell me that school was in fact cancelled due to snow.  So all of that sort of woke me.  Then, Alex got up to get the day started at another ungodly hour of 7:30 or something.  He actually had to be at a meeting he couldn't be late for at 9ish, and he knew he was going to have to shovel a little bit, so there was that.  Then, a bad thing happened.  Alex went to let Maizie out of her crate and discovered she had gone to the bathroom in there, like she must have had a sick stomach, poor pup.

So, he thankfully cleaned out and disinfected the crate while I gave her a bath.  Ugh.  It was far too early to be dealing with such disgusting crap (literally), let me tell you.  Even the kids were still asleep.  Sheesh.  Maizie was not appreciating the bath one bit either.

Is this the face of a dog who is ready to have babies?  No, no it is not.

Ah, she got over it.  But I am semi-freaking out.  I have a terrible feeling Maizie might have a few buns in the oven, and that is a BAD THING.  She's still a puppy!  Also, it is totally my fault because she went into heat before I got her spayed...  then of course they won't let me get her spayed til she's done, which is like, now.  I don't even know what to do about that!  I've been super careful about watching her, making sure no dogs were around, etc.  The biggest problem, besides the fact that there are plenty of mutt puppies and dogs out there and we don't exactly want to add to that, is that because she's so small and I'd have no idea what dog she hooked up with, it could be a bad thing!  Like, how could she ever have a 1/2 Rottweiler pups or something?  I totally need to bring her to the vet.

So, I'm sorry that I am somewhat cranky.  This m-effing cleanse is still on, just wrapping up the second of three weeks, and I am kind of wanting something besides everything healthy.  I could really use a fucking donut!  Apparently that's not on the cleanse.  The question is, will one donut ruin everything??  Probably.  Damn it.  My mind is so wrapped around the thought of eating sweet things right now, it's hard to focus on other things.  I'm not hungry at all really.  I really enjoy what I am eating, surprisingly.  I guess it's more mental.  Ugh. I'm ready to be done!

Well, times up.  Happy Friday guys.  Link up and tell me fun things and entertain me!  I really need some good distraction right now...

come to mama, you little brat

It's hard to be a parent.  I know this because I am one, and I totally get how not easy it can sometimes be to just manage simple things every day.

When I first became a parent, I recognized that it was my responsibility to make sure that my little person turned out to be a decent human being, a decent grown up.  Some kids are easier than others, and no two situations are ever the same, but the general ideas that I had to accomplish this were pretty simple. The most important lesson that I wanted my kids to learn was respect.  Respect for themselves and others, specifically.  I kind of think that respect is the building block for all of the other life lessons out there.

I'm not in the habit of judging other parents, partly because I know I am not perfect, and I know I don't do everything "right" and by the book all of the time.  Sometimes, you have to adjust your thought process to accommodate the kid.  But for the most part, I'd like to think that us parents are all in this together, that we all have the same general goals in mind when it comes to our kids.

There are some parents though, that really make it harder on the normal parents, like myself, of course.

The parents that let their 3rd grader have a cell phone definitely make it hard on the parents who (a) can't afford to add another freaking line to their plan, (b) recognize that an 8 year-old who can't even keep track of her own eyeglasses (that she wears on her face) has no business owning an expensive bit of technology, and (c) kind of have to wonder who the hell an 8 year-old is going to be calling anyway.

The parents that don't give their kid a curfew make it hard on the parents who believe that teen-agers need to really be home and in bed, asleep,  before the night turns into the next day.  Kids need rest.  And they need to know that they don't get to be the boss of their time til they are out of the house or in college.

The parents who don't give their kids chores make it tough on the parents that believe chores build character, and help make kids more responsible and hard working.  Even putting water in the dog's dish every day can give a kid a sense of accomplishment, and the sense that her place in the family is important and valued.

The parents who say "not my kid," make it hard on the parents who take responsibility for their child's actions, and in turn, expect them to take responsibility for their own actions, even if it sucks, and even if the lesson learned was a hard one.

The parents who send their kid to school sick make it hard on the parents of the other healthy kids in the class who are definitely touching your kid's snotty, germy, sneezy things.  Then of course, your now unhealthy kid is inadvertently bringing that home and getting their family sick, snotty, germy and sneezy.  It doesn't hurt to have a sick plan in place.

The parent who makes the perfect cupcakes makes it hard on the parents who try, but just cannot pull together the green frosting-ed cupcakes with the rainbow sprinkles in the shape of a rainbow, and the faux pot-o-gold (how the hell did they fit all of that on a cupcake anyway??), while entertaining a teething toddler, cleaning the cat vomit off of the living room couch, and attempting a shower before the big class St. Patty's Day party.

The helicopter parent makes it hard on the parents who think that sometimes it's OK for kids to have a mild tiff in the sandbox without interruption.  Kids need to learn how to deal with conflict.  Give it a moment before you jump in and yank your kid out of there while giving the other three year-old the evil eye.  It might surprise you when they work it out!

The parent who never says no makes it tough on the parents who believe that kids need to actually work hard for things to appreciate and value them.

The parents that let their kid wear non-age appropriate clothes and costumes make it tough on the parents who think that 2nd graders (or teen-agers, actually) have no business wearing shorts so short that you can see their buns.  Or sexy costumes with plunging necklines, thigh high stockings and super short skirts!  A kid that age doesn't need to wear a sexy vampire costume for Halloween, seriously.  Who are they being sexy for??  There's plenty of time for experimenting with clothes and make-up, we're lucky right now because we have all of the power in what our kids have in their closets.  And a little modesty goes a long way.

This in tongue in cheek, obviously, because really, we are all in this together.  But wouldn't it be great if all of the parents could be pretty much on the same page?  My page, specifically. 

Any thoughts?

five types of date askers plus a bonus

If you're a grown up, chances are you've been asked out on a date, or asked someone on a date at some point in your lifetime.

I have to say, I am pretty sure I've never asked anyone out.  In fact, I never even really called guys, unless they were already my boyfriend.  I was way too worried about rejection to ever put myself in the position to get shot down and embarrassed.

I was almost 40 years old when I first realized how stressful it actually can be to ask someone out.  I wasn't asking anyone out personally, I was just witnessing the event.  I got the straight up guy perspective and it was so stressful.  Guys have it so hard!  Like, it definitely seems as though girls have all of the power in the situation, and it really must be tough on guys being vulnerable and putting themselves out there.

I've come to the conclusion that there are basically 5 types of date askers.

You have the Incredibly Formal Date Asker: "Miss Smith, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to our fancy pants dance?"   I picture the guy who asks a girl out like this as someone who wears a bow tie.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.   I'm not necessarily anti-bow tie.  Well, not entirely.

Then you have the Vague, Boring, Passive Date Asker: "You should come get some pizza with us later."  This guy acts like he wouldn't care either way if you wanted to go with him, which is probably his MO, in case you're all like, "Uh, no."

The Casual Date Asker: "So hey Jill, what's your schedule looking like this week? I heard Joe's Taco's has some great burritos.  Wanna grab something to eat?"  This guy is sincere, but casual enough so that if you aren't into it,  he can easily brush it off like it's no big deal.

The Sincerely Sincere Date Asker:  "Sarah, would you like to go to the prom with me?"  There is nothing wrong with a guy asking a girl out sincerely, it's actually nice.  But there is no denying that you're being asked on a date, so there is no sly way to wiggle out of it if you don't want to be this poor guy's date to the prom.

The Indirect, No Big Risk Date Asker:  "We should really get together this weekend for a hike, the weather is supposed to be great."  This guy is similar to the casual date asker, in that if you beg off, he doesn't feel dumb for putting himself out there.  He can feel you out (not up, gutter mind), see if you're into it, and kind of go from there.

and the bonus, I'm Either 12, or Funny and Ironic Date Asker:  This guy will toss you a note on loose leaf paper that says, "Do you like me?  Circle Y or N.  If yes, do you want to have lunch together?  Circle Y or N."  Oddly, I am partial to this particular kind of date asker.  Especially if the note is folded in the form of a football.

You know, so much happens online these days.  Technology has definitely changed things.  Connecting through Facebook, chatting, text messaging and email is much more common, but I can't help but think that most girls would probably appreciate getting asked out in person, or at the very least voice to voice, like they did in the olden days.  It's definitely more personal.

I think in asking someone out on a date, the key is to strike while the iron is hot - nobody will wait around forever because there are other options out there.  So if you're getting the vibe that the cute receptionist at the dentist office is kind of into you, just go for it if you think you could be a match.  There really isn't much to lose, right?