my awesome partner

This week's list is 10 ways that my partner is awesome.  So, that's not too hard at all.  

So here we go:

1.  He leaves me notes with stick figure drawings on them, pretty much every day.

2.  He always cleans up the vomit - all of it - kids, mine, dog... he's the best vomit cleaner-upper I know.

3.  He does any chore - not just the "guy" chores.  He'll do laundry or dishes or whatever needs doing.  He panics at the grocery store, but he'll still go if I ask him to.

4.  He carries my bags.  All of them.  Always.

5.  He defers to my TV and movie choices, even if they're girly.

6.  He never yells (at me or in general) or calls me names, and he won't fight with me.

7.  He gets up with the kids in the morning to make breakfast and lunches so I can sleep in a little.

8.  He works really hard every day.  He's affectionate and loving, and he doesn't snore.

9.  He accepts me as I am - wrinkles, weight, crappy pink haircut, random cranky mood, whatever... he never ever says anything that makes me feel bad about myself.

10.  He never tries to control me.  He knows when I need space, and he gives it to me.

OK, I am not done.  There are way more.  I have to add a bonus five.  Sorry if you are all sick of reading how awesome Alex is.

11.  He makes me laugh, pretty much every day.  He's a funny guy.

12.  If he asks me, "What's for dinner?"  and I say, "Take out?"  He always answers, "That's exactly what I was thinking!"

13.  He's not a bar-hopper or big drinker, and he's not the type to ogle other women in my presence.  He's really respectful.

14.  He never gives me a hard time about spending money, he's not all tight with a buck.

15.  He's really smart.  He can fix pretty much anything.  And if he can't, it bugs him, so he'll figure it out and he'll do it right.

I think one of the best things about Alex though, is that he tries to understand me, and that's really important to me.

Well I'll just toot my OWN horn then.

You know, I could argue that I am a damn good wife.

I take care of my man, even when he’s a pain in my butt. I mean, who else would get up out of a warm snuggly bed to go down to the car at midnight where there could potentially be raccoons that might attack me because the car is by the garbage pails and everyone knows that raccoons are violent and like garbage in the night, just to search for an inhaler when my husband says he feels wheezy?

(mean racoon that wants to use my leg as his next meal)

One would think that the said inhaler would be on the said asthmatic’s side of the bed, within reach. One might go so far as to think that at least one of the forty seven thousand inhalers that I have purchased would be somewhere in the bedroom, bathroom or upstairs region of an asthmatic’s house.


Like does anyone out there know a chronic asthmatic that doesn’t carry his inhaler with him like a big boy?? Why, when we are halfway to a destination, will he look at me and say, “So did you pack me an inhaler?” And I might just say, "Of course I packed you an inhaler Hon." Because I am all lovey like that. And because I know with every fiber of my being Hon will not remember to pack himself an inhaler. I mean, I don’t want him to start wheezing and not be able to breathe, so obviously I make a point to have the proper medication on hand at all times. One might think the asthmatic might take the bull by the horns and keep track of his own life saving medicine, wouldn’t one?

Well. One better get his damn inhalers in strategic spots all over the house so the other one doesn’t have to get out of her snuggly warm bed and face vicious, man eating raccoons in the dead of night ever again.

One is definitely lucky that I love him, and his lungs.

what happens when i am bored and/or lonely

From: Jessica
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:08 PM
To: Alexander
Subject: sept 20

Hey, hey boyfriend! Guess what? Next Monday, Sept 20 is the parent meeting for the kid's religion!! Guess who is NOT going?? Me. That’s right. I said it.


Which means . . . you’re the parent going! Yahoo! Please mark your calendar accordingly. The meeting is at 6:30 pm. Love ya!



From: Alexander
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:08 PM
To: Jessica
Subject: RE: sept 20


i cant make it i will be in cooperstown at a work event. hahahah ya i said it



From: Jessica
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:14 PM
To: Alexander
Subject: RE: sept 20

F. ME!!! That’s not very funny at all. I think you will be home in time!



From: Alexander
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:15 PM
To: Jessica
Subject: RE: sept 20


no way it is an hour and half ride and i need to see if i win anything... hahahahahahahahaha. maybe we could go to the sat morning parent meeting



From: Jessica
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:17 PM
To: Alexander
Subject: RE: sept 20

Fine. I will inform the Bobster. The Bobinator. The Bob-meister, meisterbob.  I will inform him that YOU will be going to the sat morn meeting. :)


From: Alexander
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 1:19 PM
To: Jessica
Subject: RE: sept 20


are you on drugs like those stay at home moms you see on tv



From: Jessica
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2010 2:04 PM
To: Alexander
Subject: RE: sept 20

Haha, hoohoo, heehee.
Nah. I don’t even know where I would find a source.

the free kiss

OK.  I can't be the only one who believes in this philosophy.

So, me and my husband have this little unwritten rule that we get a free kiss with a particular celebrity crush, if the situation ever arose.  (clearly, the situation will never arise, but a girl can dream, right??)

So for the longest time, like for almost my whole marriage practically, my free kiss was... Dave Matthews.  From DMB.  Oh man... I love him.  And his voice is amazing and every one of my friends made fun of me for my free kiss pick!!  Isn't that so mean??!  I think he's hot.  ANYWAY.  Of course those losers pick the guy that EVERYONE would pick -- like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.  Who wouldn't take a free kiss from one of those guys?  But come on!  Think a little outside of the box people!

( I still like you Dave.)

Alex doesn't think outside of the box.  He typically goes straight to the blonde with big boobs.  Such a guy, my husband is.  And he is always switching.  He started with Britney (!), then went to Charlize Theron, then moved over to Scarlet J.  He kept her on his list for a while.  Now, he changed it up!  He just informed me he's going Kim Kardashian!  Who knew?

As I was saying before I got sidetracked (go figure), I was saying that I have always had Dave Matthews, but I think I may be over him moving on.  I don't know what happened!  I mean, I still love him and think he's the man, but I am kind of ready to try a new and different free kiss.  

So I decided, I am going to poll the readers.  Who do you think I should pick?  I will give you my top three contenders, and you can vote!  And when I feel like closing the polls, I will take all of your advice, and have my free kiss be the the guy of your collective choice.  Look how nice I am -- offering to let you all hold such power over my kiss.  Please, use your judgement.  Choose wisely.  I keep my free kiss for a long time, so don't choose the guy you think could be just a passing fancy.  OK.  I trust you.

TOP THREE CONTENDERS

(1) ROB  You know who I mean.  Edward/Rob.  ROB PATTINSON.  My cousin Kat tried to claim him, but I could throw down over this guy.  Oh, I do love him.  And I love his crooked tooth and his cutie face.  And his voice.  And his mischievous look.  And I dig a guy that can rock a messy hair-do.  I don't really care that he is so young.  It would be like Demi and Ashton.  Oh, I could go there.

(um.  Did I mention hot?  Yes. Yes, I did. Sigh.)

(2) BOB HARPER  From The Biggest Loser.  OK.  Relax.  I told you that I think outside of the box!  I can hear the wheels spinning madly over this, but I don't really care about the rumors of his sexual orientation, he's HOT.   And very fit.  And he has sick tattoos.  And I am sure he would be very motivating.  I love Bob. 

(yikes.)

(3) JEREMY PIVEN  Oh Ari... I mean Jeremy!  Jeremy!  I think he is adorable, and funny, and cocky, and cute as anything.  And mischievous, like Rob/Edward.  Plus I like that he's been around the acting block a while... Honest to God if I had another son, I think I would name him after Jeremy's character Ari. 

(yikes again.)

Let me have it.  I'm waiting...

putting it all out there

I remember being little, and laying in bed with my sister Ali and begging her to teach me how to burp.  I just couldn't get it.  She could burp so great and loud and she could burp words and the partial alphabet.

I really was jealous.

So I practiced and practiced.  I could never get the concept of swallowing air and it drove me crazy.  Kind of similar to my quest to be a great whistler, just a little more on the crude side.

I'm not sure at what point it was that I unintentionally became a great burper.  But yes, it happened.  Yes it did. 

I love to burp.

My mother yells at me (I am 40 Mom!) and tells me she hopes that I accidentally burp when I am with a group of important people.  My daughter Kara glares at me every time I burp, and pretends to throw up.  My son high fives me.  Sometimes I hear "nice one!" from one of the kids nearby, which just validates my skill.

But the most embarrassing thing recently happened, so I might as well just put it out there for all the world to see. 

My husband called me from work -- we chit chat briefly a few times a day, so no big deal.   Here is how the conversation went for your viewing pleasure:

Me: "Hello?"

My husband: "Hey hon, what are you doing."

Me: "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP. Nothing"

Fumble fumble fumble, then my husband: "Oh. My. God!  You were on speaker phone and my door is open!"

Me, feeling a little mortified but defiant: "Well that's what you get for calling me on speaker phone!"

I am laughing just thinking about how funny it sounded, not the burp - my husband fumbling to pick up the phone really fast - like he could possibly cut me off in mid-burp.

Not one of my finer moments I guess.

Yeah well, he never called me on speaker phone again.

turd ferguson

(Kar and Frank)

A while back when Kara's boyfriend Frank was newish, we decided that we had to have a code word to use if there needed to be a change in conversation, or if the boys were being too hard on him.  My husband and brothers-in-law are definitely a tough crowd to newcomers and they get their little pack mentality thing going on.  It's like they weed out anyone who isn't strong enough to take their bullyish behavior.  Survival of the fittest at its finest.  But I didn't want them to be mean to him, because Kara really liked him.  So we had to set some ground rules.

(the pack)

Trust me, a code word was necessary.


So we settled on Turd Ferguson.  We tossed around T*ts McGee, but I don't say the T word, so that wasn't going to work for me. 

If anyone thought one of the guys were being mean or inappropriate to Frank, they had to say "Turd Ferguson! Turd Ferguson!"  That was supposed to distract the bully from their meanie behavior and hopefully make them change it, while not embarrassing Frank.

So Frank just came along for a few days on our big two week family vacation 
and we didn't have to use the code word ONCE.

I'm so proud of the boys.  I think they are finally growing up.

east hampton

Alex and I went to East Hampton this weekend for a party thrown by the managing partner in his firm.  We have been invited to this party for the past several years, and Alex loves to go.

Me, I panic.

I am all fine up til the day we leave, then I mentally freak out that I am going to sound like a dumb bell standing next to all of those attorneys.  Nobody has ever made me feel small, in fact, all of his colleagues have always gone out of their way to be kind to me.  It's during those type of events that I wish I could fade into the backround, and I typically keep quiet and just observe. 

The house is really neat, and they always put on a great party.  Food was just fantastic - there was a fresh tuna salad with avocados that I would have had no shame in stuffing in a zip-loc baggie. If only I thought ahead and put one in my pocket, I would have noshed on it all the [long, drawn out traffic-y] way home.  OMG.  It was so great, and it wasn't tuna like from a can.  It was really real tuna -- from the ocean.  I need to find a recipe for that asap.  The cook said he just whipped it up on the spot, so I am thinking it may be a tough find.  But I am ON IT, and I will let you know if I track it down.

Anyway, we stayed outside of the Hampton's overnight, just because it was a pretty long drive, and we knew we'd stay at the party for a while.  We had a lot of time in the car to just chat and listen to music.  It was nice.  Pretty much every other car we passed probably cost about as much as my house.  I didn't even mind the traffic, however Alex was uncharacteristically cranky about it, because he uncharacteristically cared a lot that we were going to be late. 

His boss Kenny sort of made a big deal when we arrived, and introduced him as the newest partner in the firm.  He was all cute and proud and happy.  They all told a lot of stories about when Alex was a lowly runner for the firm, starting out as an 18 year-old freshman in college.  Kinda cool that he worked his way up to being partner of one of the top firms in the US.

Kinda really cool.

The "eagle"

Cuteness: The whole lot of us were driving up to Albany the other night to go out to dinner in celebration of my husband's big promotion. Along the way, he got a call on his cell phone (shocker!) and began a conversation with the (very important) caller while driving.

All of a sudden I hear Brookie exclaim from her spot in the back, "That's an eagle Dad!"

"Where?  You see a big bird flying out there?"  I replied, looking out the window for the bird that Brooke had spotted.

And she says, "No Mom, it's an eagle for Dad to talk on the phone when he is driving."

I'm assuming she meant illegal.  Which it is.

zodiac

So Alex emailed me this from work today, and followed up with this comment:

Hon, This is totally you!  Except the messy, unorganized and pet parts.  Especially the long-winded story, attractive, trustworthy, great kisser and sleeping parts.  Wink wink.


AQUARIUS (me) 
Does It In The Water (interesting.)


Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships.  Tries hard. Will take on any project. (Why, thank you!) Proud of themselves in whatever they do. (Eh) Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. (Hey! I do not concur. I am neat and organized AND I do not procrastinate. Well... kinda) Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. (LOL, what can I say?) Extreme thinkers. (oh, I am pretty extreme in the thinking department...) Loves their pets usually more than their family. (Nah...) Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. (Well, I have been accused of this once or twice...) Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter but will knock your lights out.  (Ha!)

(*as you may have already guessed, my little personal comments are in the black.) 

So getting that email made me go on and check to see what other qualities that people who share my sign should have.  What I found about Aquarius pretty much fits me to a capital T:

-Would have made a great hippie
-So independent
-Completely unpredictable
-Fascinated by everything
-Most likely to save the world
-Don't care what other people think
-Keep your options open
-Notorious Nonconformist

I thought that was funny.  Because really, it is just about right on.

what i got

Before I was married, I had that mental checklist, you know, the one where the guy you were supposed to marry had to have all of those specific qualities.  Wait, you didn't have that list?


Well anyway, part of my list (besides the obvious: has to like me, have a job, want kids, wear good shoes, have clean fingernails and nice teeth, etc) went like this:


1.  Has to love music.  Has to have cool music tastes.  Has to play the piano or another cool instrument.

2.  Has to own and ride a cool motorcycle, or want to own and ride a cool motorcycle.  Preferably a Harley.  A loud one.
(--I do recognize that I need a new adjective for a word that means the same as cool)

3.  Has to be a military man, a Marine is perfect.  Who doesn't love a guy with a high and tight in dress blues??

4.  Has to be creative, artists are definitely good.

5.  Has to love reading and books.

6.  Has to be taller than me, with dark hair, and I was a sucker for brown-eyed boys.


I never did meet a guy with all of those qualities.  In fact, hardly any guys I dated had even two of those qualities, and I always seemed to have a decent amount of guys to date.  My sisters were always trying to fix me up.  I guess I went through a phase after a rough breakup, where I was sure I was never going to meet the right person.  It was really hard actually.  I was sad and lonely for a long time.  But not sad and lonely enough to go on a second date with that window salesman Tyrone set me up with, ugh, or that jerky Trooper.  What a loser. 


ANYWAY, (boy my stories sure seem to go off in their own direction sometimes, don't they?), having a mental checklist really was a crazy, young-kid way of thinking.  When all is said and done, and you grow up a little and throw away the immature parts of the mental checklist, the most important things really and truly are that you have to have chemistry, you have to have trust and faith and laughter and really, you have to genuinely like the person you are with.  Like, you just know they are good and decent human beings, and you fit.


That's what I got, when I least expected it.  I got lucky.  And my boy doesn't play a musical instrument, but he sings with gusto, even if he doesn't know the words and he is sooooo off key.  And he doesn't own or ever want to own a motorcycle, because he knows it would upset his Grandmother, and I totally get that.  And he is so not a military man, but he has his own version of a high and tight, and wears a handsome suit pretty much every day.  Artistic, creative and a lover of books - he is not, but he draws a mean stick figure, is creative in the garden and he reads the news every day.  And he's smart and a good conversationalist either way.  He's not taller than me, we see eye to eye, actually, and I am glad, because he has nice BLUE eyes that are kind and mischievous and loving.

He also gets me, and he accepts me and he is faithful and he knows how to make me laugh, especially when I am mad.  He's a great dad and a great husband and he works so hard every single day.  He's the only one I want to share stuff with, and the only one I want to hug me when I cry.  He is what I got. And I am really, truly thankful. 

Father's Day

Every time I look at this picture, it makes me think of my boy, and how much he has given me, and how grateful I am to have him in my life.  How grateful I feel because our kids have him for a Dad.